I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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