We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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