Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
