well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
