You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
