Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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