I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
