Already got asked if we're dating
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
