Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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