Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
