You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I skipped work to stalk him.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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