How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
