WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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