if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
