He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
