god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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