i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
