Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
