I must be too annoying 4 u.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
