my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
