I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
