She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
