u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
