i barfeds in our rink
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
