You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
