i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize