Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
