She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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