He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
