yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Found the puke drawer
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
