He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
