Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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