that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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