well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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