is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
