By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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