I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize