No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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