oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
