what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
