I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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