You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
