Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
vagina is talking i cant
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
