Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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