i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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