This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
