Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
