we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
