The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
