Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
