Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
