I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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