I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm at about main and main street
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
