I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
