he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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