"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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