making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize