What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
