How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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