wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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