I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
