whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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