o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
