He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
