I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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