p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
