What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize