No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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