I'm drive I can fine osifer
Even the bartender felt bad for me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
