i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Let's get the cat blown out
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize