What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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