So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My vagina is officially offended.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize