i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
