I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize