my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
