I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
