After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
