Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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