Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
