so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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